So today was a good day, overall. Mom went to adult daycare to "volunteer" with the old folks. She plays hymns for the devotions and they have activities and lunch and more activities. Today we joined her at 3pm for a little Mother's Day celebration, a tea. Southview Adult Daycare is such a loving place. I cannot believe Star found it, thanks to her determination to secure the best quality of life possible for all of us.
Dad got to see the facility for the first time and seems pleased, although we haven't really talked with him about it. I am working on family photos to take to Southview to add to their family portrait gallery, which really helps make the daycare feel like a home.
I think that is what I like best about Southview. It is cheery and small and cozy. Hugs are generously supplied. I can see from the front door to the back door and it is clear that this place is not only safe, but it is free. The adults can do as they please - even if a planned activity is scheduled. But the women who work there make it so inviting for them to all participate that they mostly do.
I am welcomed there. They are glad to see us in whatever grouping we are that day. It is a place of engaged living. I like that the most. And that mom doesn't balk at going (although she continues to be unclear about why or how long she will be there each time we go.) is a great gift to us. Sure, she still would rather stay home, but it seems that having a purpose to fulfill and promises to keep give her a boost too. It won't last. It doesn't last. But there are moments. She masks her discomfort so well, though, that I have to keep retuning my mom-meter to discern real feelings and such. Not easy with the aging process, harder with Alzheimer's, hardest with a woman who has had a public facade for over 60 years.
I don't know even if this is at all important. Partly it is an exercise in writing something everyday. Partly it is genuine relief that some daycare facility is there to give us all the break we need in our daily lives. 2 days a week is our choice, but it may have to increase as the Alzheimer's progresses. And then there will be other decisions made up to and including full care facilities. But for today, it was a good day.
Did I mention the moms at daycare wore hats for the Mother's Day tea? Yup. And tea and pie was served on lovely china, with the men joining us in good humor (pie is always a good mixer). Mom looked so very beautiful in her white straw hat with 3 roses tucked in the band at the crown. The hats were of all varieties, including a few spontaneously boa bedecked jobs that were deliciously reckless in their silliness. But in each woman, when we wished them a happy Mother's Day, there was a gleam. They remembered, to whatever extent, motherhood. And the smiled.
It was a good day.
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