Chance in Attitude

Today I am feeling better and am feeling inspired. To what, I don't know. I am healthy again - mostly - and the weather is lovely. Okay, a bit hot to my liking since I think 72 degrees is just about heaven and it is working on 80 or more. But nice day, just the same.

I have engaged in the addictive pastime of Facebook. Which then activates my self discipline actions. I mean, I must tend to my farm, my cove, my messages, my app this and my app that. A person could forget to do anything else. So I only take quick breaks in my day to see what status my friends are proclaiming. And I choose to not log on once in a while. I even ignore requests.

And as a reward to me, old relationships are re-established and flourishing in the liberating venue of online communication. Yes!

So what am I inspired to do then? To expand my blog to be about all my life not just the overwhelming bit that is Alzheimer's and Parkinson's and being weary. Hah! So this is about Alzheimer's and Parkinson's? Don't be ridiculous. It never was about those. It has always been about me. And what I think or don't think. How honest I am and how public I am about my honesty. Which is only partly so. I conceal quite a bit. After all, who might be reading this?

Until now. It is time. So, I will post, this month, my goals. I will write about my life in no particular order with no particular amount of detail. Some days may be too much information and others leave you wondering. But that will be because I am doing the same, I guess.

I have spent a great deal of time wishing. Hoping even. Longing sometimes and lots and lots of time visualizing. That is a great time waster. Make no mistake, visualizing is a terrific tool. But it becomes a crutch. A little more action, please.

I have so many things to experience. So. Come along if you want to - but don't forget to tend to your own breathing.

May 9, 2009 Southview Adult Daycare

So today was a good day, overall. Mom went to adult daycare to "volunteer" with the old folks. She plays hymns for the devotions and they have activities and lunch and more activities. Today we joined her at 3pm for a little Mother's Day celebration, a tea. Southview Adult Daycare is such a loving place. I cannot believe Star found it, thanks to her determination to secure the best quality of life possible for all of us.

Dad got to see the facility for the first time and seems pleased, although we haven't really talked with him about it. I am working on family photos to take to Southview to add to their family portrait gallery, which really helps make the daycare feel like a home.

I think that is what I like best about Southview. It is cheery and small and cozy. Hugs are generously supplied. I can see from the front door to the back door and it is clear that this place is not only safe, but it is free. The adults can do as they please - even if a planned activity is scheduled. But the women who work there make it so inviting for them to all participate that they mostly do.

I am welcomed there. They are glad to see us in whatever grouping we are that day. It is a place of engaged living. I like that the most. And that mom doesn't balk at going (although she continues to be unclear about why or how long she will be there each time we go.) is a great gift to us. Sure, she still would rather stay home, but it seems that having a purpose to fulfill and promises to keep give her a boost too. It won't last. It doesn't last. But there are moments. She masks her discomfort so well, though, that I have to keep retuning my mom-meter to discern real feelings and such. Not easy with the aging process, harder with Alzheimer's, hardest with a woman who has had a public facade for over 60 years.

I don't know even if this is at all important. Partly it is an exercise in writing something everyday. Partly it is genuine relief that some daycare facility is there to give us all the break we need in our daily lives. 2 days a week is our choice, but it may have to increase as the Alzheimer's progresses. And then there will be other decisions made up to and including full care facilities. But for today, it was a good day.

Did I mention the moms at daycare wore hats for the Mother's Day tea? Yup. And tea and pie was served on lovely china, with the men joining us in good humor (pie is always a good mixer). Mom looked so very beautiful in her white straw hat with 3 roses tucked in the band at the crown. The hats were of all varieties, including a few spontaneously boa bedecked jobs that were deliciously reckless in their silliness. But in each woman, when we wished them a happy Mother's Day, there was a gleam. They remembered, to whatever extent, motherhood. And the smiled.

It was a good day.