Validation

I am a writer and a photographer and validation is a rare commodity.  The trick, I am learning, is to not find my bliss in validation.  Rather, to find my bliss in the day at hand. The blog written, the print finished, the friend who holds my hand.

Tom is away this weekend at a photographer's convention.  A professional photographer's convention, the distinction of which may (or not) matter to you.  It matters to us.  Because, validation comes in many forms.  From the customer, money paying givers of life.  And from peers sharing drinks into the wee hours, celebrating artistic successes.  Mostly it comes from the inner voices telling us, "This is why you do it.  Well done.  Do some more."  Tonight Tom called to tell me he has done well.  His images were well received and he ought to be coming home with a few more acrylic awards to remind us why he does what he does.  But what was great was the tone in his voice.  Believe me when I say, this man is talented and we don't need any stinking judges panel to tell us that.  But man, it feels good to hear it anyway.  And in his voice was the delicious sharing that happens between two old friends, two artists, two lovers, "Hey, babe.  All four prints hung.  The class went great - they seemed to hang on every word.  And you were right, I could have taught for 4 more hours."

"I sure love you, honey."

I miss him when he is gone and, yet, the week before he goes, I could cheerfully strangle him.  And, he, me.

After a day of errands, a little writing, a lot of doing life, I will get some of that rare validation to deposit in my pocket book of bliss. Because when Tom calls tonight to spin good night magic across the starry strands of universe into our bed, I will know that we are a team.  That his victory is mine.  That tonight when he reads my blog, the day will melt away for him.  And he will whisper sweet everythings in my ear, "I am so proud of you, sweetheart.  I can't wait to read your novel.  Miss me a little more and I'll be home soon."

Bliss.